Under Siege

I was already having a really good sunday. I had eaten a pleasant breakfast and gone to TJ's. I had SS'd with NN and SS and had enjoyed a glass of wine (Cabernet Blend "Picada," Neuquén, '06) and a glass of beer (De Ranke XX Bitter) and many bits of cheese (Don Juan Aged Manchego). After that, I had drunkenly baked a loaf of bread, taken a peaceful nap and started the makings of a pizza dough. And then, Tortoise IM'd me excitedly with the news that Under Siege was on TBS. With that bit of news, my day went from great to awesome. Under Siege is beyond a doubt the best movie ever made. It is hilarious from beginning to end. I could make no sense of the plot: missiles were being shot by bad guys from the ship, by good guys from the ship, by good guys toward the ship, basically by everyone in all directions. Whenever one needed a blow torch or a hammer or whatever, there was one luckily nearby. None of the prisoners were being guarded, in fact, none of the weapons were being guarded either, and at the slightest drizzle of water, SAILORS start passing out. "Welcome to the revolution." Rate ***** (awesome meter)

Prawn Crackers

I only allow myself to make these once or twice a year but whenever I have them they are so insanely good. The texture is like snappy styrofoam (that doesn't sound good but it really is) and the flavor is vaguely shrimpy (ok that doesn't sound good either but for serious now, it is). The only bad thing is my whole house smells disgusting for 24 hours. That's the real reason I can't make them too often. It's true I'm watching my girlish figure these days but it's still close enough to girlish that I would eat these a lot more often if my house didn't reek post frying.

Prawn Crackers

One package of prawn crackers from your neighborhood Asian store
A bunch of vegetable oil in a little pot

Heat oil, add a drop of water to check the temperature. If the drop dances, break off a little piece of chip and drop it in. This is your test cracker. You'll probably have to go through a few crackers before the oil is hot enough for you to start frying the big pieces. When the hard little chip starts to poof out and float to the top, quickly snag it with a pair of tongs and move it to a plate. When the oil gets hot this will happen almost instantly after you drop in a chip. Move fast! And be careful of the oil. Make a giant pile and don't share.

Pizza Delicioso

Dinner tonight was a success! I first got the idea for pizza-making on Saturday when I noticed a pizza special on the food network. And this got me thinking about my cast iron pan and how it would probably turn out a pretty tasty pizza so I googled "pizza recipe cast iron" and came across this Whole Foods recipe: Cast Iron Skillet Pizza. Full of enthusiasm, I assembled most of the necessary ingredients (minus corn flour and artichokes) and set to cooking last night while also keeping an eye on Under Siege on tv (best movie of all time). I can't really judge that recipe honorably b/c I had to substitute corn meal for the corn flour and I'm not entirely sure my skillet is 9 inches. It might be smaller, but it also might be 9 inches, I should probably go check. Anyway, it turned out rather dense and much too doughy and heavy. I cut out the crust and just ate the center portion (it was midnight by the time I finished and I was dying of hunger). Tonight however, I tried Bee's pizza dough recipe (Bee was the pizza maker back when we lived in Brooklyn; he had a special trick of incorporating red pepper flakes into the dough, so good) and used the same toppings. With a canny eye toward dough/topping ratio, I halved the amount of dough to go into the pan and well, it was just perfect.

Pizza dough
1 tbs yeast
3/4 c warm water
1/4 tsp sugar

Mix above and let sit 5-10 minutes. When mixture is foamy, add:

1 3/4 c flour
1/2 tsp salt

and knead for ~5 minutes. Form into a ball and pat with a bit of olive oil, cover with cloth and set in a warm place. Let rise for 45 minutes.

Divide the dough in two and form balls. Oil the cast iron pan with a bit of olive oil. Press dough out to fit pan (9 inches?). Add desired toppings (tonight I used chopped kalamata olives, thinly sliced roma tomatoes, slivers of garlic and mozarella cheese. I meant to scatter some basil on top at the end but I was so hungry I had eaten it all before I remembered). Bake on bottom rack for 15 minutes or until top is brown.

Next time, I think I will try to prebake it for 5 minutes before adding toppings. Also, I read somewhere that you can freeze the dough so that's what I'm doing with the other half of tonight's dough. We'll see if it is as good after freezing.

Pizza might be my new hobby.

To Do List

I am so tired from my run tonight but there are a few things that I really have to get done tonight before going to sleep:

• Wash dishes
• Scoop litter
• Take out trash

Oh but I am so so tired...

Animal to English Translations

Nouns
AFB: Amish Friendship Bread
BO: Blood Orange
STD: Sweet Tasty Delicious, used to refer to anything befitting those adjectives
Example usage:
Billy - I've got an STD in my mouth.
Jane - Oh yeah? What kind?
SS: (1) Secret Science (2) Sunday School
Bsand: Breakfast sandwich
DB: douchebag
Decorative ABC: Decorative already been chewed gum

Verbs
COF it: To get coffee
CAF it: To get food from the cafeteria
GAG it: To run the GAG assay
OHP it: (pronounced as if there is phlegm in your throat) To run the OHP assay
Sciencing: Work on science
Abstracting: Work on abstract
Papering: Work on paper